Truth is in Your Pain

Do you ever wonder why at a certain age we start to re-evaluate our lives and we begin to feel aches and pains in places we've never experienced before?

I am here to explain why this happens and why it's a clue to not avoiding our pain.

We have become a world who desperately's seeks any means to avoid pain. Why is this?

First of all you can't make money off of someone if they are pain-free. Second we have not be taught how to deal with it, this has gone on so long now that there's no one around that actually knows how to deal with it. At least this is how it feels. When we are first born we want attention because that's all we can communicate when we feel lonely, scared, or just needing a little more love. We just want to be held. This is when we begin to feel something painful, our parents as good of intentions as they have cannot understand how to deal with pain as they are in their own mess that have yet to deal with. Usually our safe havens are with grandparents, they've been through enough by this time and have some understanding of it. 

Pain is something you cannot explain until you go through some yourself. However it is the very thing we all have in common but we pretend like it doesn't exist.

Only when we can no longer bear the pain is when we seek the professionals of our very educated doctors, where they've learned how to mask pain in the greatest way known. Don't get me wrong doctors have a great role to play in keeping us all moving and saving lives.

It's the pain that we don't understand, the science behind why things need to be a certain way yes we can figure that out but a heart ache; there's no method on how to go through something like that.

We all have a different tolerance level of pain and how each one of us deals with it is completely different. No one teaches us what to do when we feel left out and the pain feels like you can't hold your head up but you're only five. However that same feeling keeps coming back and I'm in my forties.

We have been taught to hide and cover up our pain, do not show it to anyone. If you can't hide the fact that you're in so much pain then you must hide from the world. Like it's some extremely contagious disease or something. When the very thing we must do is stand beside someone in pain. Just be present, you don't have to say anything, there's nothing to do, just be there. When we're in pain we feel completely alone. We create this story that we've done something wrong and that this pain is our punishment. Pain is in our lives to show us things but we can only see them if we actually look at it.

Pain is all the same but it's experienced in different ways. Like eating, we all eat the same but experience it differently. (not sure if this analogy will work here) So first of all you are not alone, we are here. The whole world actually feels the effect of your pain, it affects us by you not being at your core truth and living your life on purpose. The world needs you, you were created to contribute your greatness by just being you. However when we avoid the pain and hide, we are not contributing to the world in the best way possible. So we feel you, even if we cannot understand what it is.

What happens when we actually face our pain? We think it's going to get worse than it is, however the pain grabs your attention because it needs you to pay attention and see what's going on. We want someone to come and help us to get rid of it but what happens if we help ourselves? What happens when we actually sit in our pain?

I say the truth of pain is in the bathroom. When we are in our greatest pain we usually head towards the bathroom, it's the one place most people will leave you alone. It seems easier to cry in the shower, or laying on the bathroom floor. It's where we find out that the stick is positive, When we're about to be sick we go to the bathroom because we're in pain. It's where we have those private conversations where only the truth is told. It's where we question ourselves, how could I have been so stupid? It's the place we keep the weight scale. This is where we pray, please help me. When we just can't hold it together anymore we head to the bathroom to let it out. I'm thinking bathrooms are more like confessions we can no longer avoid or hide. It all comes out on the bathroom floor.

It's time to heal and it's time to get past this BS of thinking we need to avoid it. There will come a time when you can no longer mask it, hide it or avoid it. This awakening comes midlife, certain aches and pains begin to show that weren't there before. You physically feel stiff. Or something bigger will show up to get your attention. An accident or an illness will be in your face and you will have no choice but to face it. However by the time when this happens we are so addicted to avoiding it that this may very well be the thing that kills us.

It's completely OK to feel pain, to be sad, to be upset and to even be depressed. It's normal. When we face this and tell our truth is when we're able to feel our deepest desire - LOVE. What we've done is taken away the connections we use to have. We use to live next door to loved ones and share our time with them. Today we are all too busy seeing how many likes we have on a picture we've shared with strangers than to talk to our neighbours. We have completely been shut out of communicating with each other and sharing our truths. We are all photo shopping our lives to look like they're perfect. So basically everyone is wearing a mask. When someone knocks on the door we always answer with the same thing. saying "I'm fine."

This is MY Life!

Major Breakthrough of my Life.

Today I wrote and published a blog and the very thing that holds me back happened. Someone confronted my opinion on something major that happened in the world. And everyone is entitled to their opinion. 

What's held me back was someone not liking what I did. 

Currently this is irritating to me as I have honestly moved past this. Hallelujah! 

Anyways up to this point I have been more concerned with trying to change someone's opinion of me. If they didn't like me I wanted to try and change their mind of me. There has even been some I was scared of.. even at this age. Fearing someone would say something mean to me or about me. I just wanted everyone to like me.

You see I have always had a soft spot for those who were unable to defend themselves; the underdog of sorts. I was raised to believe that we all came here special and no one was more important than the next. So when I did see someone being picked on, I wouldn't necessarily stop it. Sometimes I would try but I truly am not confrontational at all. When it was over I would go to that person and comfront them and be by their side. I befriended them simply because they needed someone. This would cost me some superficial friends and I then became the one being attacked and bullied. 

I feel the same way today. It doesn't matter, when I see someone picking on someone else I really dislike it and will defend where I can. Defending is an act preparing to go to war and yet I still want to. Perhaps it's not even defending, it's standing up for those who can't. 

Usually asking that person to explain their point as I believe it's also important to try and understand each other. Even if the person is super rich or famous why try to bring someone down? It takes so much energy, it's easier to lift someone up. I lift people up. 

My breakthrough came among this irritation this morning and I knew it bothered me and I wanted to resolve it because I was tired of hiding from it. 

And Bingo! It hit me,,the questions came. Why was I even concerned and why did it bother me so much. Then my wonderful husband asked what value does this person bring? I thought about it and tried to go through the inventory and I couldn't come up with anything. I'm like, why would I even keep this person around in my life? We then discussed about being in the public eye that there is always going to be people like this, to help bring the balance into your life. I thought of this for a minute and thought.....NO.... I have enough negative talk going on inside my own head. I do not need to keep a bunch of people around me just in case I forget. This is my space, my life and this is something I can control. I no longer accept any negative behaviour in my presence. 

Yes we can have a debate and a difference on opinion but putting down anyone else in my space is no longer required, necessary. 

I have been promoting self talk and self care and motivating others all of my life. I have received many notes of thanks for changing their view point and choosing to see the brighter side of life. These are the people who truly matter to me, I have nothing to prove to them. All I need to do is just be me. Period. There are people who don't get it and choose to challenge my beliefs. You are no longer required to show up, your assigned has been changed and you're being relocated to our sanitation department. No worries once you've gone through that department we welcome you back with open arms. 

I am succulent, at least that's what a friend of mine says and I have to say I have to agree with. I am powerful and beautiful, motivational, inspiring. I am a woman on fire to live her life with my own rules. Yours are yours and they do not apply to me. Just like mine do not belong to you, you can test them out and see how they fit but you'll have to test it out yourself. I now choose to make my life savoury and I am ready to share it. 

I also would like to apologize to the masses. You see I have been the one who was the biggest bullshitter around. I first need to apologize to those who thought it was acceptable to dump your crap off onto me and into my space. I didn't realize I would get caught with illegal dumping. I thought I was doing you a favour and that you would like me. Sorry. Not sorry but I love you. 

Also to those who have followed me and believed me when I said this is a safe environment for you to be in and that you could use some of the light we shine to find your path back and heal. I now understand that it really wasn't that safe because I allowed the illegal dumping in the space. My heart is opened now and I know you are watching and will be here when it's right. 

I finally get it that I no longer need to chase those who don't believe in me. I already have a full cheer leading squad by my side. And for those who have always been there secretly cheering me on from the sidelines, I am eternally grateful.... . Thank you. Thank you to each one of you. Even the ones who are needing to go next door I am really grateful for you to push me to wake up to my life and for me to realize I do not need to carry this shit around anymore. 

So from now on, all issues dealing with shit first must go to the sanitation department. So if it's bullshitting, or just simply shit, either putting something or someone down. Consider this your notice to evacuate immediately and line up next door at the sanitation department. We will be here when you get done.

I gotta tell ya, I just came through that department and it's like no where I've been, not as scarey as I thought it would be. The benefits of going through sanitation is freedom, you'll feel lighter, you'll glow, smile more, somehow it's replaced with love. It's like magic. 

I no longer tolerate others pointing out flaws. This is who I am, this is who I have always been. This is why I love everyone. Remember we are all created perfectly flawed designed to fulfill our destiny of greatness. If you're ready to open your greatness I say "Welcome". 

Through the Darkness comes Life

This is a commitment for your life.

If you're like me and have started so many things in hopes of living a more fulfilled life yet still having difficulty believing in yourself. Please know you're not alone. For myself all I want is to wake up in the morning and to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of who I see. To know I am making a difference. This is my life and I need to be the one who does something. The waiting must stop.



This is an in-depth look at what you really want from and for your life. Taking responsibility and action into changes that match your heart and soul.

This program is to create a lasting change with compassion for ourselves and a community that expresses the same thing.

If anyone has any questions please don't hesitate to contact me. Looking forward to grow and meet everyone. Have a wonderful day.
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