Do you ever wonder why at a certain age we start to re-evaluate our lives and we begin to feel aches and pains in places we've never experienced before?
I am here to explain why this happens and why it's a clue to not avoiding our pain.
We have become a world who desperately's seeks any means to avoid pain. Why is this?
First of all you can't make money off of someone if they are pain-free. Second we have not be taught how to deal with it, this has gone on so long now that there's no one around that actually knows how to deal with it. At least this is how it feels. When we are first born we want attention because that's all we can communicate when we feel lonely, scared, or just needing a little more love. We just want to be held. This is when we begin to feel something painful, our parents as good of intentions as they have cannot understand how to deal with pain as they are in their own mess that have yet to deal with. Usually our safe havens are with grandparents, they've been through enough by this time and have some understanding of it.
Pain is something you cannot explain until you go through some yourself. However it is the very thing we all have in common but we pretend like it doesn't exist.
Only when we can no longer bear the pain is when we seek the professionals of our very educated doctors, where they've learned how to mask pain in the greatest way known. Don't get me wrong doctors have a great role to play in keeping us all moving and saving lives.
It's the pain that we don't understand, the science behind why things need to be a certain way yes we can figure that out but a heart ache; there's no method on how to go through something like that.
We all have a different tolerance level of pain and how each one of us deals with it is completely different. No one teaches us what to do when we feel left out and the pain feels like you can't hold your head up but you're only five. However that same feeling keeps coming back and I'm in my forties.
We have been taught to hide and cover up our pain, do not show it to anyone. If you can't hide the fact that you're in so much pain then you must hide from the world. Like it's some extremely contagious disease or something. When the very thing we must do is stand beside someone in pain. Just be present, you don't have to say anything, there's nothing to do, just be there. When we're in pain we feel completely alone. We create this story that we've done something wrong and that this pain is our punishment. Pain is in our lives to show us things but we can only see them if we actually look at it.
Pain is all the same but it's experienced in different ways. Like eating, we all eat the same but experience it differently. (not sure if this analogy will work here) So first of all you are not alone, we are here. The whole world actually feels the effect of your pain, it affects us by you not being at your core truth and living your life on purpose. The world needs you, you were created to contribute your greatness by just being you. However when we avoid the pain and hide, we are not contributing to the world in the best way possible. So we feel you, even if we cannot understand what it is.
What happens when we actually face our pain? We think it's going to get worse than it is, however the pain grabs your attention because it needs you to pay attention and see what's going on. We want someone to come and help us to get rid of it but what happens if we help ourselves? What happens when we actually sit in our pain?
I say the truth of pain is in the bathroom. When we are in our greatest pain we usually head towards the bathroom, it's the one place most people will leave you alone. It seems easier to cry in the shower, or laying on the bathroom floor. It's where we find out that the stick is positive, When we're about to be sick we go to the bathroom because we're in pain. It's where we have those private conversations where only the truth is told. It's where we question ourselves, how could I have been so stupid? It's the place we keep the weight scale. This is where we pray, please help me. When we just can't hold it together anymore we head to the bathroom to let it out. I'm thinking bathrooms are more like confessions we can no longer avoid or hide. It all comes out on the bathroom floor.
It's time to heal and it's time to get past this BS of thinking we need to avoid it. There will come a time when you can no longer mask it, hide it or avoid it. This awakening comes midlife, certain aches and pains begin to show that weren't there before. You physically feel stiff. Or something bigger will show up to get your attention. An accident or an illness will be in your face and you will have no choice but to face it. However by the time when this happens we are so addicted to avoiding it that this may very well be the thing that kills us.
It's completely OK to feel pain, to be sad, to be upset and to even be depressed. It's normal. When we face this and tell our truth is when we're able to feel our deepest desire - LOVE. What we've done is taken away the connections we use to have. We use to live next door to loved ones and share our time with them. Today we are all too busy seeing how many likes we have on a picture we've shared with strangers than to talk to our neighbours. We have completely been shut out of communicating with each other and sharing our truths. We are all photo shopping our lives to look like they're perfect. So basically everyone is wearing a mask. When someone knocks on the door we always answer with the same thing. saying "I'm fine."
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